


I still remember where I was when the feeling changed

by Amortentia42



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Voldemort Wins, Angst, Character Death, Dark, Double Agents, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Friends to Lovers, Good Draco Malfoy, Jealousy, Legilimency, M/M, Mutual Pining, Occlumency, Past Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Pining, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Redeemed Draco Malfoy, Self-Indulgent, Sexual Tension, The Golden Trio, Torture, Undercover, Unresolved Sexual Tension, kind of, more like the battle continues, not major character though, tension all round, title from a trixie mattel song
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:47:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24356059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amortentia42/pseuds/Amortentia42
Summary: The war isn't over after the battle of Hogwarts.The order has had to go underground and re-group.Wizarding Britain grows ever darker as Voldemort's consolidation of power grows stronger.Will Draco Malfoy turning Double Agent be the salvation no one thought they'd need?
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Neville Longbottom/Ginny Weasley
Comments: 5
Kudos: 12





	I still remember where I was when the feeling changed

It felt as if fear and the stench of death had ingrained themselves into the dust that permeated the air and settled like a suffocating film over everything it touched since the Battle of Hogwarts. Voldemort had disapparated with Nagini upon seeing Harry alive and breathing – a survivor of the killing curse twice over. The remaining Death Eaters had either stayed to inflict as much damage as possible to what was left of the Order or had they themselves receded to recuperate and fight another day. The battle still not over.

Molly Weasley stood firm and defended her remaining children, casting a Duro at Bellatrix and obliterating her twisted stone body. The sound of her maniacal cackle lingered on for what felt like eons afterwards. A victory for the so many dead amongst the side of the light. McGonagall had fought to the end, but a stray killing curse from Rowle had caught her in the end. Another deep blow to the Order. Another casualty to war. Eventually through weakened strength on both sides, there was a reprieve in the fighting. People on both sides fled back to their homes to lick their wounds and prepare for the coming of the next day. With which the dark would spread its icy tendrils even further into wizarding Britain. Too strong in numbers now to be kept at bay. The Orders numbers depleted and the Golden Trio in hiding.

Hermione had grabbed Ron and Harry at the end of the battle of Hogwarts and disapparated them to the burrow initially. Only long enough to reconvene with the others once they arrived and decide a course of action. They’d have to go underground. That much was obvious. A safe house would be needed, and they would need to take stock and rebuild the Order. Keep the fight alive and plan how to once and for all defeat Voldemort.

What they needed was someone on the inside, especially now since Snape was no longer alive. Someone who could provide them with the intel they needed to track his movements and to infiltrate the Death Eaters so completely that they might be able to take them down from the inside. What they had not predicted was that this person would come to them in just a matter of weeks.

.

.

.

The atmosphere was crackling with the magic of curses and hexes being fired left right and centre. They were in a town in Southern England that was being burnt to the ground by Death Eaters. Members of the Order had arrived too late to save many of the casualties and were now fighting back the six Death Eaters that had either been tasked with this massacre or were simply doing it for their own delight. Harry spotted Ron shielding himself and Hermione from a shorter masked Death Eater with greasy auburn hair with one of the strongest Protego’s he had ever witnessed. He was about to run to their aid until he saw Ginny run into the fray with an Everte Statum that flew the man backwards into a nearby smouldering wall, where his head made contact with a sickening crack and he fell either dead or unconscious. Harry blew out a sigh of relief. From what they could tell, that was three down, three to go. There was a crack as one of them dissaparated, knowing that they were outnumbered by the Order on this occasion. Focusing back on the scene, he caught a sight of shocking white hair out of the corner of his eye. He whipped his head round to try and see where the figure had gone and as a result, only just rolled out of the way of a green curse aimed at him, probably an AK. That had been too close. He needed to focus. It can’t have been Malfoy. No one had seen hide nor hair of him since the Battle of Hogwarts. Assumed dead due to his Fathers inadequacy in Voldemort’s eyes and his Mother declaring Harry dead.

Someone Harry couldn’t see cast an Expelliarumus at the attacker and Harry followed with a Stupefy in quick succession which hit him square in the chest. Harry felt the heat of another Confringo at the back of his neck.

There! He saw a flash of blonde hair again, the figure it belonged to running down a side alley a few metres ahead of him. Adrenaline going into near overdrive at this point, he ran to chase the figure down. The sound of someone shouting his name doing nothing to stop him. Malfoy or not, this was a Death Eater and he wasn’t going to let him get away that easily. The smell of burnt flesh and death filled Harry’s nostrils as he jumped over burning rubble and the sight of innocent _children’s_ bodies fuelled his anger to boiling point. He was catching up to the blond and somehow he just knew it was him.

“MALFOY”, Harry roared over the sound of the destruction around them.

The figure stopped as he came to a dead end; his breathing frantic. They both pointed their wands at each other. The tension in the air so thick it felt like a physical force crushing their lungs.

“Take. Off. Your. Mask. Now.” Harry gritted out between clenched teeth.

No answer came but a shaking hand came slowly up to detach the foul looking symbol of hate. As it clattered to the floor, Harry couldn’t tear his eyes away from the silver one’s in front of him. He took a step forward as if magnetised.

“Stay where you are, Potter. I mean it.” Malfoy firmed his grip on his wand even more and held it directly in front of Harry’s heart. He had no emotion on his face. His features smoothed into impassion and almost boredom. However, the tremor in his hand as he tried to hold his wand steady and the panicked, haunted look in his eyes told Harry how much that was just an act.

“I thought you’d be dead, Malfoy…clearly not. Instead you’re parading round with your Death Eater chums, killing innocent people. I thought you were a bigoted coward but you’re worse than that now. YOU’RE A MURDERER – “

“Shut up. SHUT UP! You know _nothing_ about me, Potter. You don’t know the position I’m in. What he’s done.” Tears clouded Draco’s eyes as he spoke. His voice turning rough.

“I know more than anyone what he’s capable of, Malfoy and you don’t see me aiding his genocidal maniacal plans.”

Malfoy stepped closer, both of their wands now digging into the others flesh.

“I don’t want to help him. I don’t want the dark to win. Not after what he’s taken from me. It’s evil and repugnant and it feels like a nightmare that I cannot escape from. There’s no choice though. I’m doing what I have to to survive. Playing a part. I don’t take part in the killings; you have to believe me - I was trying to put out the fires as best I could. Who do you think was the one who sent the tip off about this raid in the first place, you insufferable _idiot!”_

Harry was breathing like he’d run a marathon. Memories racing through his head of the tip offs they’d received numerous times over the past few weeks – all delivered through a patronus he’d never seen before. The first couple times they had been dubious, fearing a trap. However, the intel proved to be genuine once they checked it out. The name of a town that was going to be raided; the hovel of a bar that a high-profile Death Eater secretly frequented; the name of a traitor.

As if he could read Harry’s thoughts, Draco pulled his wand away from Harry and said clearly and slowly so Harry had time to react the words

“ _Expecto Patronum!”_ The silver light swirled around the alley and formed into an elegant and beautiful swan that flew round Harry and Draco’s still forms for a few seconds before dissolving into mist.

The same patronus that carried the tip offs in a distorted voice so that it couldn’t be recognised. Its what had given inspiration for the codename they used for the informant – Tchaikovsky. Obviously, that was Hermione’s idea. Harry had no clue about ballet at all.

“It’s you. You’re the one who’s been sending us information. I don’t understand! Are you on our side or not?! If you are then why don’t you defect? We can keep you safe, Malfoy.”

Harry lowered his wand but kept a tight grip on it, still not entirely trusting Malfoy.

“I can’t. He’s killed my parents in front of me. I – I have nothing to lose now. I can do more to help from inside the Death Eaters and you know it. In a way this is my penance and my only way to avenge their deaths. My Father may have deserved his fate but not my Mother. I will do this for her. Coward I may have been and probably still am – but I loved my family and I don’t believe the prejudice I used to spew when I was young and blindly following what my Father was preaching. I don’t think pure-bloods are better than Muggles or Muggle-borns. This is war and I’m finally doing the right thing. Let me help, Potter. Let me go and I won’t make you regret it. For once in your life, trust me.” Draco finished by putting his wand away and extending his hand for Harry to shake. Reminiscent of that day all those years ago when they were so young and naive to what the world would do to them and those they loved.

Harry hesitated. There had to be another way. Visions of Snape and the sacrifice he made still haunt him at night. There has been so much death. He didn’t want to be responsible for another one. The scars they leave cut far too deep already and he doesn’t know if he can take more. But they needed this information. It was the only way they were staying afloat in this war. Without it there would be even more destruction and the hope of destroying Voldemort and the stain he was leaving on the wizarding world would be near impossible at this point. People were scared and the threat to their own and their families lives were becoming too much. Their numbers were dwindling. They needed hope and the promise of more of it in the fight back.

Harry took his wand in his other hand and shook Draco’s still outstretched one. Malfoy’s eyes pierced his as they stood there, the sound of the battle around them lowered to the sounds of crying and names being shouted. The firing of curses and hexes silent as Harry guessed the remaining two or so Death Eaters had either fled or been apprehended.

“Thank you, Potter.” Draco murmured.

“Don’t let me down…Draco.”

At the sound of his first name, something flickered in Draco’s composure, a barely audible intake of breath and the grip on Harry’s hand momentarily tightened before relaxing again and withdrawing to Draco’s side.

“We’ll need a rendezvous point if this is going to work. If someone catches you casting a patronus then you’re screwed. I didn’t think Death Eaters even could.”

A pained look crossed Draco’s face before it smoothed back into a mask of cool composure once again.

“Well where would you propose, oh chosen one? If I’m seen in the company of a stranger let alone a member of the Order then it will arouse enough suspicion for my head to be on a chopping block. What we are doing here is too risky as it is, which is thanks to you for chasing me down by the way.” Draco’s snark almost made it feel like some of the weight Harry was carrying had been lifted off his shoulders momentarily as he was sent back by the nostalgia of walking the corridors of Hogwarts. His lip twitched with the start of a smirk until the words truly hit and he realised how right Draco was. This was too risky.

“Okay, there’s a place we can meet when we need to. We’ve been using it as a sort of half-way house if we don’t want to use the safe house. Its under a Fidelius Charm so only those who have been told the address can access it. I’m trusting you with this, Malfoy but what if Voldemort enters your mind? Are you a good enough occlumens?”

“Snape trained me himself, Potter. Along with my Mother who herself was one of the most powerful witches I’ve met. Don’t you remember her lying to the Dark Lord himself to say you were dead? Its what got her killed in the end, so you’d do well to remember. Honestly, how do you think I’ve survived this long?! I know what I’m doing now we need to _hurry up._ I’m expected back at the Manor and there’s only so much tardiness that will go unnoticed.” Draco glared.

“Bloody hell, _fine_ you git. So sorry for having to ask a completely warranted question.” Harry proceeded to whisper the address into Draco’s ear, who had to stifle a shiver at the sensation of Harry’s warm breathe ghosting over his skin.

Harry pulled back and with one last look into Draco’s eyes and a nod, he swiftly spun round and started to retreat from the alley to help his friends and the victims still crying in the distance.

Draco inhaled a deep breath and let it out slowly. He dreaded going back to the manor and having to sit through the debrief full of the gruesome details and sometimes the cold penetrating snake eyes of Voldemort himself. He didn’t turn up all of the time – often away doing Merlin only knows what but would make Draco shiver with the remnants of dark magic that surrounded him upon his return. 

With one more deep breath and his mental shields fixed and impenetrable, just as he had been taught, he disapparated to the place that used to be his home, with just a hint of hope blooming in his stomach from his encounter with Potter. He could do this. He'd do it for her.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first proper attempt at writing a passable fanfiction so I hope you enjoy this first chapter! Its very self-indulgent. I wanted more AU battle endings so I was like sod it, I'll write one myself.  
> <3


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